Let me admit upfront that I don’t really know shit about painting and painters. Gauguin is no exception. I was barely familiar with his work or his life, except I knew he had once been a white collar professional and moved to Tahiti later in life to concentrate on painting. He’s renowned, so I figured, you know, go on, do your thing. I had no interest in learning much more.

But I recently came across an article about dude, and it opened my eyes a little bit. The author of the article admitted a few things about Gauguin, including that he was not embraced by other French folks, not considered a great artist in his day, was considered a hedonist by the local (French colonizer) Polynesian government, and disliked by most locals. Yet by the end of the article, the writer had us trying to sympathize with him because of his restless soul, which led him to travel to the South Pacific, searching for his version of paradise (where he could use his relative wealth to exploit local communities and spread STDs. Asshole.)

So I did a little bit of research about him. Turns out it’s as bad as I imagined. First of all, how are people gonna give him props for his influence on the “Primitivism” movement in art? From what I can gather – word to Wikipedia – Primitivism was a reaction to the Enlightenment in art and music, which reflected the values that Europeans at the time considered “primitive.” (Man Europeans of the 18th and 19th centuries, you guys are fucks.) Brought on because of widespread European invasions of other parts of the world, Primitivism was influenced by the white man’s interpretation of the arts of Africa, South America, the Pacific Islands, the Middle East, and Asia. I guess cats were thinking European art was all about imitation, and in their search for authenticity, they stole imagery from the art of other parts of the world. You know, because that’s way more authentic.

Gauguin – having lost his job as a stockbroker – bounced on his wife and five kids and moved to what was called French Polynesia at the time. He bounced around there, talking about his own greatness and alienating everyone with whom he crossed paths. He was treated as good as dead in his native country (which is racist in a different way) and abhorred by the local folks where he was at. He died broke and diseased, and I guess it serves him right. If you take a look at his works, there’s a strong strain of Orientalism in pretty much all of his later work.

After his death, he started to get major love for the aforementioned Primitivism, as well as for championing woodcutting as an artform. You know who else was into woodcutting? The people of Polynesia! So weird that he was able to teach that to the local folks and retroactively make it an historically significant part of their culture. Just like Justin Timberlake popularized beatboxing, and Elvis Presley invented Rock and Roll, and “The Departed” is like the most original movie idea EVAR!

It’s not like I ever knew a damn thing about Paul Gauguin in the first place, but after learning what I could online, turns out his is a stone best left unturned. Fuck a Gauguin. You can tell him I said it too.